Why have a win-win mentality?

Would changing your mindset from win-lose to win-win increase the opportunities at your disposal?

Yes, it would, and dramatically. If you only think from the standpoint of “what’s in it for me?” and don’t consider other points of view, then you’re going to miss a lot of opportunities.

If your only view of service is self-service, you’ll be a loser. That’s because opportunities primarily involve providing useful service to others. People will only do for you if you do for them.

If you want to benefit from a golden opportunity, you must follow the golden rule. It’s gold for a reason – it works.

Often, the definition of “service” in an industry is too limited. You can massively increase the value for the other side by understanding where their friction and pain are and finding ways of removing it.

If you can increase value for the other side, you will automatically increase the value of your side. It’s just common sense.

Let’s say that instead of pursuing the win-win, you get into a brutal price negotiation. Perhaps you can get a little bit more margin from the other guy because at that point, he needs you more than you need him.

That will, however, damage his trust in you and make it difficult to form a productive long-term relationship. He may instead want to take revenge.

If, on the other hand, you approach the relationship from the standpoint of “how can I increase value for the other guy by decreasing the causes of his worst pain,” not only is he going to jump on that, and desire it rather than resist it, but he’s also going to see you as more valuable.

Your value to him automatically increases because you’re removing causes that have been destroying value. So of course, he’ll give you more. You won’t even need to demand it.

The point of pursuing the win-win is not just as a hack for immediate benefit. The point is to create long term relationships in which both sides pursue opportunities to grow together. If you want to grow big, you must always pursue win-win relationships, with all of your stakeholders.